So...

Someone once told me that I would less depressed and more successful if I would change my inner-dialogue (the voice in your head) from "I suck, I'm stupid," to, "I CAN do this."

Well, I did some thinking. What if I changed my dialogue to any one of these quotes:

"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!"

and finally:

"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

Two more for the road:

"Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out."

"I hope I didn't brain my damage!"