Just a Few of My (-)Favorite Things
Just extremely frustrated today. I have the misfortune of being very klutzy. What kills me is that I try hard not to be. If I lose concentration for half a second, it just seems that my body falls apart and throws a tantrum on me.
It's the little things. Take for instance my keys and pants, which for some reason constantly conspire against me. All weekend, I the my pants ensnarl my keys inside the pockets. When I put my hand to dislodge them, either my hand gets caught, or when I pull them out, a key is still stuck. How do I know, because when I open the door and the door is caught, I know have to fight to open the door, free the keys and not get my hand stuck. I thought at first if I went really slow and took my time these things wouldn't happen, but know. They still do.
Another thing that happens frequently is that I will try to access my wallet, and it'll be the same story with my keys. This time the problem isn't a door, as you don't use wallets to open doors unless you're trying to get into a club, or need a credit card to jimmy a lock. No, usually I will try to get a card, or put money or a business card inside my wallet. For some reason, I can't do this without having my wallet teeter back and forth on top of my hand. And, per my luck, I don't find out my wallet's moving until it sways so far to one side that it completely falls out of my hand, splashing my money, credit cards, everything onto the ground.
Sometimes, I want to find the person who invented wallets, fabric, keys, fat skin, bad air, house flies, the wheel and beat the hell out of them.
So, during the course of this blog, I'm going to add little things that are against me. Please, feel free to do the same. If we have enough, I'll start another blog which will allow everyone to personify their annoyances and think of a proper way to get out your frustration. If any of you suggest anything dumb or innocent, like prayer, someone will come over to beat you up shortly.
It's the little things. Take for instance my keys and pants, which for some reason constantly conspire against me. All weekend, I the my pants ensnarl my keys inside the pockets. When I put my hand to dislodge them, either my hand gets caught, or when I pull them out, a key is still stuck. How do I know, because when I open the door and the door is caught, I know have to fight to open the door, free the keys and not get my hand stuck. I thought at first if I went really slow and took my time these things wouldn't happen, but know. They still do.
Another thing that happens frequently is that I will try to access my wallet, and it'll be the same story with my keys. This time the problem isn't a door, as you don't use wallets to open doors unless you're trying to get into a club, or need a credit card to jimmy a lock. No, usually I will try to get a card, or put money or a business card inside my wallet. For some reason, I can't do this without having my wallet teeter back and forth on top of my hand. And, per my luck, I don't find out my wallet's moving until it sways so far to one side that it completely falls out of my hand, splashing my money, credit cards, everything onto the ground.
Sometimes, I want to find the person who invented wallets, fabric, keys, fat skin, bad air, house flies, the wheel and beat the hell out of them.
So, during the course of this blog, I'm going to add little things that are against me. Please, feel free to do the same. If we have enough, I'll start another blog which will allow everyone to personify their annoyances and think of a proper way to get out your frustration. If any of you suggest anything dumb or innocent, like prayer, someone will come over to beat you up shortly.
posted by Coolhand at 5:40 PM
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