Ra: Hmm..it's been a while since I've posted. What should I write about? Life in Worcester? Worcester being the MILF capital of the world? The horse that's in someone's back yard (or down the street), and is neighing like...well, like a horse? My bout with food poisioining that left me crying, forgetting my fiance's name, and losing 8 pounds? Nah. I can't even spell "poisoning."

Ponders.

Ra: Hmm..."Manny Ramirez should play in the all-star game. Players need to realize how important the all-star game is. There shouldn't be cheesey gimmicks like more money or home-field advantage. In fact, players should lose money if they don't play. If there's a chance you can get hurt playing in an exhibition game, then you shouldn't play in the pre-season. In fact, let's not play the first half of the season, just go to a random lottery designed using a rotating array of numbers that correspond to the letters in a citie's name. The Angles don't get extra points for being "from" Los Angeles and "of" Anaheim. Douches, all of 'em. (That's what they get for wearing Willie Mays' #24--which is also my number!)"

Ponders.

Ra: Ahh...Just sit back and watch the hits and praises roll in.

Sips Low-calorie Lemonade. Goes back to cave.