How I ruined Valentine's Day
How I ruined Valentine's Day
So, we're at this Japanese restaurant, Mr. Sushi, and we order what think is a vegetable dish -- the scallion pancake. Well, wouldn't you know it, it has shrimp in it. But it didn't say it has seafood in it. And me, I forgot to ask if it had shrimp and peanuts.
So, we're moving along, and my throat starts to hurt. I write it off to the fact that the food was hot temperature wise. But my lady-bug points out that it has shrimp in it. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as she says, "Shrimp" but throat clamps down. Now, I'm wheezing a bit, but trying to do a good job of hiding it.
"Are you okay babe?"
"Me, yeah, my tie's on too tight."
"The shrimp isn't bothering you?"
"No. It's just hot. You know what, I think I'm going to eat something else."
…few minutes later…
"I think I better head to CVS."
I'm go out to my car, panicking that I forgot my epi-pen. Wouldn't you know it, I left it at the house, even though I saw the bag it was in and thought, "I may need this later." But for some reason, my hands said, "Let's leave it here and kill the bastard."
And a bastard I was. Standing in a line of 15 people (8 in mine, 7 in the other), I was desperate. I loosened my tie, unbuttoned my shirt, and was clawing at the benadryl package. I almost opened it (just tore a little off the side), but was afraid to get accused of stealing. So, this cashier, seeing that there's a line, calls over to this guy for help who's standing a few yards behind me and goofing off. First in person, then over the loud speaker.
"Ha," he laughs, "huge line."
NO KIDDING CHIEF! And I'm freakin' dyin' man! Get yo' ass in gear!
Benadryl in hand (recommended dose 1-2. My dose? 3). I head back to the restaurant, and get my non-shrimpy food wrapped up.
Then we head over to the show. The group knew that no one would come, but just in case we were hoping to show them DVD's. One problem, the DVD player wasn't working properly, after we were told it was installed and ready to go. The color was all effed-up, so we just turned everything into a monochrome black and white and hoped for the best. Who wanted a show? The owner, who was a bit bored, and we were a bit, um, taken aback by his request. So, we sat around, ate chocolate deserts (my throat was starting to feel better), while telling jokes to the owner.
The funny ("ist) part of the whole night is that once we got to the bar, I was only going to stay for like 4 minutes, so that I could go home and rest, but then this wave of emotion hit me that I was like bothering people and letting everyone down because I ate shrimp and because I did the DVD wasn't working. That's a run-on sentence, but that's a rough out-line of what I was thinking. Apparently, the entire night I was acting "drunk" and ranting about race-relations. I wasn't drunk, I just had like 3 benadryl's to stop my throat from choking on me (man, everybody part was against me that night)..
Anyways, so that's how I ruined V-day. Who needs love anyways! (But K's still with me).
So, we're at this Japanese restaurant, Mr. Sushi, and we order what think is a vegetable dish -- the scallion pancake. Well, wouldn't you know it, it has shrimp in it. But it didn't say it has seafood in it. And me, I forgot to ask if it had shrimp and peanuts.
So, we're moving along, and my throat starts to hurt. I write it off to the fact that the food was hot temperature wise. But my lady-bug points out that it has shrimp in it. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as she says, "Shrimp" but throat clamps down. Now, I'm wheezing a bit, but trying to do a good job of hiding it.
"Are you okay babe?"
"Me, yeah, my tie's on too tight."
"The shrimp isn't bothering you?"
"No. It's just hot. You know what, I think I'm going to eat something else."
…few minutes later…
"I think I better head to CVS."
I'm go out to my car, panicking that I forgot my epi-pen. Wouldn't you know it, I left it at the house, even though I saw the bag it was in and thought, "I may need this later." But for some reason, my hands said, "Let's leave it here and kill the bastard."
And a bastard I was. Standing in a line of 15 people (8 in mine, 7 in the other), I was desperate. I loosened my tie, unbuttoned my shirt, and was clawing at the benadryl package. I almost opened it (just tore a little off the side), but was afraid to get accused of stealing. So, this cashier, seeing that there's a line, calls over to this guy for help who's standing a few yards behind me and goofing off. First in person, then over the loud speaker.
"Ha," he laughs, "huge line."
NO KIDDING CHIEF! And I'm freakin' dyin' man! Get yo' ass in gear!
Benadryl in hand (recommended dose 1-2. My dose? 3). I head back to the restaurant, and get my non-shrimpy food wrapped up.
Then we head over to the show. The group knew that no one would come, but just in case we were hoping to show them DVD's. One problem, the DVD player wasn't working properly, after we were told it was installed and ready to go. The color was all effed-up, so we just turned everything into a monochrome black and white and hoped for the best. Who wanted a show? The owner, who was a bit bored, and we were a bit, um, taken aback by his request. So, we sat around, ate chocolate deserts (my throat was starting to feel better), while telling jokes to the owner.
The funny ("ist) part of the whole night is that once we got to the bar, I was only going to stay for like 4 minutes, so that I could go home and rest, but then this wave of emotion hit me that I was like bothering people and letting everyone down because I ate shrimp and because I did the DVD wasn't working. That's a run-on sentence, but that's a rough out-line of what I was thinking. Apparently, the entire night I was acting "drunk" and ranting about race-relations. I wasn't drunk, I just had like 3 benadryl's to stop my throat from choking on me (man, everybody part was against me that night)..
Anyways, so that's how I ruined V-day. Who needs love anyways! (But K's still with me).
posted by Coolhand at 4:54 PM
2 Comments:
Scallion pancake with shrimp in it? Leave it to the Japanese to take a traditional Chinese recipe - dough, scallions, and grease - and needlessly tamper with it. Yes, I'm allergic - to bad-tasting food!
It's sad that your ethnic insecurity trumped the more pressing concern of your LIFE. You haven't even tasted a grape at the supermarket? Meanwhile, I'm ripping off computer stores like in "Better Luck Tomorrow." Thanks, positive Asian stereotype!
Why were you showing a DVD? The show must go on, Rasheed. What was it? I can watch "The Rescuers Down Under" at home.
The dvd was "Kids in the Hall." Not a bad choice!
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