Let's do this right
A big Cool Hand Happy Birthday goes to JoMilkman! Big ups to turning 26 today baby!
(And to anyone else's birthday I may have missed.)
This past Saturday I was invited to a nice get together for Jon's behalf. Great talking to some cool people, admittedly mostly Elliott, that night. Met a couple of really beautiful ladies. This brings me to the subject of this blog.
I mentioned this to Cool Hand Kate (that's your name, get over it), but ever since we started dating, like I'm meeting all these interesting and beautiful women. I think having a girlfriend creates some intangible aura (like aura's are wont to do), that attracts other women. It makes you safe. Jon thinks its that you're no longer seen as a predator, just a normal human being they can kick it with.
For example, at Jon's party, Elliott left, probably because he had enough of me bluffing like I knew everything, and then bored, I started to introduce myself to people. The standard, "hi, who are you, where are you from?" I ended up standing next to a, by all means, a hot chick. She said her name was, (What was it again Jon?) and that she was from Worcester. (Oh by the way, she said she was interested in Improv, her and that Matt guy who had her convinced we worked on the Manhattan project. So can you pass along my website and braggingtochildren.com? Thanks!)
Perking up, I said, "Oh? My girlfriend is going to Medical School out there." A light bulb goes off on top of her head (then Jesse went to fix it). "You have a girlfriend? YOU? Well, whatever. But at least you're safe," are the thoughts that bounced around her head. And she talked to me for like an hour. Or what seems like it, because I couldn't get in a word edge-wise (or a zinger for that matter ... UNTIL NOW!) I find this funny, because I'm so dedicated that the thought of another girl actually finding me attractive is amusing and rarely enters my mind (but don't let it stop you).
My thesis? I think once a woman knows you are no longer interested in her, then she becomes interested. Maybe it's a possession thing, one of the many psychic games woman play on each other because we really know its them who rule the world. Or maybe it puts men and women on equal ground because they no longer have to worry that we'll try to get physical with them, but that we can play at their rules. Or maybe because everyone likes to be chased, or chase if not ::yawn:::
Sorry. The lack of oxygen in that argument must've gotten to my brain.
I think if you can find a coherent thread in my theory it would hold a "ton" of weight. Why? Because it was the day I, basically gave up (OR SO IT WOULD SEEM TO THE UNTRAINED EYE) and told Kate that I thought she was this "amazing princess who had no right being interested in a pauper like me so that it would be cool if we could be friends at least," that she leaned in and gave me a kiss (BUT NOTHING ELSE! THAT LITTLE PRUDISH ::smack:: OHHHH!)
So to get a girl, just play it cool and act like you don't care. And then stare at her breasts, but look away really quickly. And then nudge your eyebrows when she smiles slyly at you.
Then wake up. (Is that a better ending sweetheart?)
(And to anyone else's birthday I may have missed.)
This past Saturday I was invited to a nice get together for Jon's behalf. Great talking to some cool people, admittedly mostly Elliott, that night. Met a couple of really beautiful ladies. This brings me to the subject of this blog.
I mentioned this to Cool Hand Kate (that's your name, get over it), but ever since we started dating, like I'm meeting all these interesting and beautiful women. I think having a girlfriend creates some intangible aura (like aura's are wont to do), that attracts other women. It makes you safe. Jon thinks its that you're no longer seen as a predator, just a normal human being they can kick it with.
For example, at Jon's party, Elliott left, probably because he had enough of me bluffing like I knew everything, and then bored, I started to introduce myself to people. The standard, "hi, who are you, where are you from?" I ended up standing next to a, by all means, a hot chick. She said her name was, (What was it again Jon?) and that she was from Worcester. (Oh by the way, she said she was interested in Improv, her and that Matt guy who had her convinced we worked on the Manhattan project. So can you pass along my website and braggingtochildren.com? Thanks!)
Perking up, I said, "Oh? My girlfriend is going to Medical School out there." A light bulb goes off on top of her head (then Jesse went to fix it). "You have a girlfriend? YOU? Well, whatever. But at least you're safe," are the thoughts that bounced around her head. And she talked to me for like an hour. Or what seems like it, because I couldn't get in a word edge-wise (or a zinger for that matter ... UNTIL NOW!) I find this funny, because I'm so dedicated that the thought of another girl actually finding me attractive is amusing and rarely enters my mind (but don't let it stop you).
My thesis? I think once a woman knows you are no longer interested in her, then she becomes interested. Maybe it's a possession thing, one of the many psychic games woman play on each other because we really know its them who rule the world. Or maybe it puts men and women on equal ground because they no longer have to worry that we'll try to get physical with them, but that we can play at their rules. Or maybe because everyone likes to be chased, or chase if not ::yawn:::
Sorry. The lack of oxygen in that argument must've gotten to my brain.
I think if you can find a coherent thread in my theory it would hold a "ton" of weight. Why? Because it was the day I, basically gave up (OR SO IT WOULD SEEM TO THE UNTRAINED EYE) and told Kate that I thought she was this "amazing princess who had no right being interested in a pauper like me so that it would be cool if we could be friends at least," that she leaned in and gave me a kiss (BUT NOTHING ELSE! THAT LITTLE PRUDISH ::smack:: OHHHH!)
So to get a girl, just play it cool and act like you don't care. And then stare at her breasts, but look away really quickly. And then nudge your eyebrows when she smiles slyly at you.
Then wake up. (Is that a better ending sweetheart?)
posted by Coolhand at 11:23 PM
4 Comments:
Hmmm, I always thought it was some inherent, primitive inkling -- if you have a girlfriend, there must be something desirable about you, therefore, they find you 'desirable'. It doesn't necessarily manifest into full blown flirting or even desire. More often, it's just a general interest. Jon's idea makes sense also.
Also, I wasn't bored. I just had to placate my desire for sweet, sweet nicotine.
first of all, thank you
second of all, i'm glad you came and i'm glad you had a good time
the girl in question is trish. i'll find a way to forward the improv info along
for every supposedly iron-clad tenet you hear with regards to the opposite sex, you'll find another supposedly iron-clad tenet that states otherwise.
i think it's ultimately about trimming away as much pretense as possible. when you strike the tangle of contradictory rules and junk you've ever heard about approaching someone from your mental record, you're halfway there.
i could benefit from actually following THAT bit of advice. it's not easy.
Other people's birthdays. How about Jesse on October 10th? How about "joint birthday party?"
I can't believe this, Rasheed. After I've given you the best year's of my life...
p.s. The girl in question talks for hours to whoever listens. Hope this doesn't blow up your theory.
I think the "in a relationship aura" does exist. And it does have something to do with being curious about that which is unattainable. Guys certainly are guilty of this as well.
It also suggests, at the very least, some level of maturity and reaassurance that your conversation is not based on any unscrupulous intentions. Gee, he actually IS interested in listening to my boring yip-yap for hours on end!
However, the more important effect is not the outward perception, but the inward one. Being in a relationship gives you a sense of confidence that's missing when you're single. Especially for us self-conscious types who have trouble acting normally around anyone who is possible girlfriend material.
It's this confidence that sometimes make guys feel like there's a wealth of opportunity waiting for them if they break up. But you usually come crashing back to reality when you realize you're basically the same person you were before the relationship. You haven't magically changed into this thoughtful, mature, woman-attracting secure guy. The same fears that preoccupied you when you were single inevitably return.
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