Keep Smiling!

getting older

2008-11-25T11:48:00.002-05:00

burned through another year of living recently.
and all I could think about for my birthday wish:
"man, I wish I was taller."

Happy anniversary!

2008-08-18T08:03:00.001-04:00

Wow. 1 full year.

I think this says it all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ufaw7OWu4EU

Get your hands off of me you.. dirty ape!

2008-04-06T11:40:00.003-04:00

Someone pry the rifle from his hands...

Comic book day

2008-04-02T20:58:00.002-04:00

What has possibly gotten me so riled up that I had to break radio silence and blog?

I think one of the most compelling comic book characters is a Skrull. I hate how Marvel's just erasing tons of good character history with the stroke of a pen. First Spidey loses a wife, and now my man may be a Skrull?

Crap on a stick!

Oh well, I'm sure Bendis has a kick-butt plan in place...right?

smallville

2008-01-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

Screw all of you who told me to watch "Smallville."

I'm now hooked. As a fan of the comics, very little makes sense to me. There's clones and mutants galore, but I can't turn away. I must now DVR as many as I can, and it embarrasses me.

We're not friends any more.

Or is it, "anymore?" Yep, that passes the spell test.

We're not friends, "anymore."

David Blaine.

2007-12-04T14:53:00.001-05:00

Wow

2007-10-25T21:15:00.000-04:00

I have a blog? Holy crap on a stick!

Transformers

2007-07-12T21:51:00.000-04:00

well, I bought the special edition DVD of Transformers the Movie. Lord
help me if they create a live action Robotech. I already read 19 out of
the 22 books. Coincidentally, that accounts for 19 out of the 22
non-graphic novel books I've read in my entire life.

Happy 4th of July

2007-07-04T12:25:00.001-04:00

DERRICK Z. JACKSON

Another era of willful white ignorance

By Derrick Z. Jackson, Globe Columnist | July 4, 2007

ON THIS day of red, white, and blue, opportunity is black and blue. By throwing out the voluntary desegregation plans of Seattle and Louisville, the Reagan-Bush wing of the Supreme Court officially ended a second Reconstruction.

It ushered in a third era of willful white ignorance.

This is no surprise. This is what the majority of white America voted for by putting President Bush in the White House for two terms. For those of short memory, white men voted for Bush over John Kerry by 62 percent to 37 percent and white women voted for Bush 55 percent to 44 percent in the CNN and NBC exit polls.

They drowned out men of color, who voted against Bush 67 percent to 30 percent and women of color, who voted against Bush 75 to 24 percent.

They drowned out the minority voice on the racial divide, as if nothing more needs to be done. Last year, a Gallup poll found that a majority of white Americans, 53 percent, felt that people of color had equal job opportunities. Eighty-one percent of African-Americans and 62 percent of Latinos said they did not.

In 2003, when Bush sided with white students who tried to kill affirmative action at the University of Michigan, he took up the side of ahistorical white Americans who want to wish away a half-century of turbulent progress after 3 1/2 centuries of trenchant enforcement of slavery, segregation, and discrimination. Particularly telling was a USA Today/Gallup poll. When asked if affirmative action was OK for women in general, white Americans, by a 55- to-38 percent margin, favored it.

But when the same question was asked in terms of people of color, white Americans, by a 49-to- 44 percent margin, opposed affirmative action. Blind to all the racial disparities that continue to ensure that the average person of color has a starting line in life well behind the average white American, 75 percent of white Americans said "merit" should be the sole basis on admission to college, compared with 44 percent of African-Americans.

The Fourth of July is the holiday where Americans most claim to honor their history. Yet white Americans cannot collectively help themselves from betraying how they run from it. When a 2006 Associated Press poll asked Americans if they planned to do anything to commemorate Martin Luther King Day, 84 percent of white Americans said no, compared with 38 percent of African-Americans. When a 2002 USA Today/CNN/Gallup poll asked whether corporations that made profits from slavery should apologize to African-Americans, 68 percent of African-Americans said they should, while 62 percent of white Americans said they should not.

The denial of the continuing role of subtle and overt racism reached a ridiculous point after Hurricane Katrina. The Pew Research Center asked Americans if the government response to Hurricane Katrina would have been faster if the victims had been white. Of African-Americans, 66 percent said yes. Of white Americans, 77 percent said the response would have been the same.

At the end of the first Reconstruction, the Supreme Court approved segregation by saying in 1896 that African-Americans wrongly assumed that "social prejudices may be overcome by legislation and that equal rights cannot be secured to the Negro except by an enforced commingling of the two races. We cannot accept this proposition. If the two races are to meet upon terms of social equality, it must be the result of natural affinities, a mutual appreciation of each other's merits."

All that did was usher in nearly 60 years of lynching, race riots, and quiet daily oppression and humiliation of black people.

Showing that history can repeat itself, if written by people who refuse to study it, Chief Justice John Roberts said in the 5-to-4 majority against the Seattle and Louisville school plans: "Accepting racial balancing as a compelling state interest would justify the imposition of racial proportionality throughout American society."

Concurring with this, Justice Clarence Thomas asked in a footnote, "Can the government force racial mixing against the will of those being mixed?"

All that is a smokescreen for a collective white America that, despite whatever racial progress has been made, still resists voluntary integration. History also shows that the smoke cannot forever shield America from the fire. African-Americans staged a revolution for education a half-century ago. This Supreme Court has thrown down the gauntlet to black familes all across this land for another one.

Derrick Z. Jackson's e-mail address is jackson@globe.com.

A Big F-You to Us Celtics Fans

2007-05-22T21:00:00.000-04:00

Hooray! A crappy season to play for the right to draft high next year. Not "opportunity", not "chance to win one of the top 2 spots in the lottery," it was a "F-You Boston!"

Last time we had this high of a chance, we ended up with 2 good players, which we gave up on too early (Ron Mercer and Chauncey Billups)...and San Antonio ended up with Tim Duncan. Those players ened up with 4 titles (3 for Duncan, 1 for Billups...actually 2005 it was Billups VS Duncan) in 10 years. We ended up with 5 playoff appearances. Hooray.

True, there's still talent. There's Yi Jinlingaling Jianlian, the 7-0 forward from China. He ways about as much as a fly sitting on a paperweight. He wants to play outside (Vladamir Radmonvic, anyone?). There's Brendan Wright and AL Horford everyone talks about...But I think we need a big man. A 7-footer with a desire to rebound. I'm thinking Joakim Noah. Sadly, he won't go at 5, but he's vastly underated as an athlete. Think a more motivated Marcus Camby. Or, Roy Hibbert - a 7-2 monster who appears to enjoy playing defense. of course, that's all he can play (ha!), but still... The draft's always fill of big men who go bust, so maybe they are better off just drafting a guard, like Corey Brewer or Mike Conley.

Oh well. We're getting the 5th. Why? Because of all the times we supported a company (not team), that's drafted ineffectually, given up on good players, won't give up on bad ones, traded for the same player twice, and is always willing to...you know what? I'm so mad with the Celtics, I dont' think they deserve any more words!
(hire me)

Amazing!

2007-05-19T16:44:00.000-04:00

Immigration: The Human Cost

The reason why I haven't been posting...

2007-05-15T19:57:00.000-04:00

Ninja Warrior on G4... It's just so addictive!:

Awww...He has a gentle side after all!

2007-03-30T07:23:00.000-04:00

The Rock's Back!

2007-03-13T19:43:00.000-04:00

The Rock's Back! The Rock's Back! Holy S--- The Rock's Back.

And he happens to deliver a killer promo too:

i was being harshed

2007-03-05T21:20:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't of said, "F-you." But in my family being part Cherokee is very important to our heritage. And to be told (this is just one of many articles), that we don't count. Pfff...

As if enough people don't hate black people:

2007-03-05T20:48:00.000-05:00

As if enough people don't hate black people:

Future unclear for 'freedmen' descendants

Cherokee Nation votes to expel 2,800, clouding economic prospects

The Associated Press

Updated: 4:24 p.m. ET March 4, 2007

OKLAHOMA CITY - The Cherokee Nation vote to revoke the citizenship of the descendants of people the Cherokee once owned as slaves was a blow to people who have relied on tribal benefits.

Charlene White, a descendant of freed Cherokee slaves who were adopted into the tribe in 1866 under a treaty with the U.S. government, wondered Sunday where she would now go for the glaucoma treatment she has received at a tribal hospital in Stilwell.

“I’ve got to go back to the doctor, but I don’t know if I can go back to the clinic or if they’re going to oust me right now,” said White, 56, a disabled Tahlequah resident who lives on a fixed income.

In Saturday’s special election, more than 76 percent of voters decided to amend the Cherokee Nation’s constitution to remove the estimated 2,800 freedmen descendants from the tribal rolls, according to results posted Sunday on the tribe’s Web site.

Marilyn Vann, president of the Descendants of Freedmen of the Five Civilized Tribes, said the election results undoubtedly will be challenged.

“We will pursue the legal remedies that are available to us to stop people from not only losing their voting rights, but to receiving medical care and other services to which they are entitled under law,” Vann said Sunday.

“This is a fight for justice to stop these crimes against humanity.”

Results to be finalized March 12
Cherokee Nation spokesman Mike Miller said Sunday that election results will not be finalized until after a protest period that extends through March 12. Services currently being received by freedmen descendants will not immediately be suspended, he said.

“There isn’t going to be some sort of sudden stop of a service that’s ongoing,” Miller said. “There will be some sort of transition period so that people understand what’s going on.”

In a statement late Saturday, Cherokee Nation Principal Chief Chad Smith said he was pleased with the turnout and election result.

“Their voice is clear as to who should be citizens of the Cherokee Nation,” Smith said. “No one else has the right to make that determination. It was a right of self-government, affirmed in 23 treaties with Great Britain and the United States and paid dearly with 4,000 lives on the Trail of Tears.”

The petition drive for the ballot measure followed a March 2006 ruling by the Cherokee Nation Supreme Court that said an 1866 treaty assured freedmen descendants of tribal citizenship.

Mirrors 2000 Seminole decision
A similar situation occurred in 2000 when the Seminole Nation voted to cast freedmen descendants out of its tribe, said attorney Jon Velie of Norman, an expert on Indian law who has represented freedmen descendants in previous cases.

“The United States, when posed the same situation with the Seminoles, would not recognize the election and they ultimately cut off most federal programs to the Seminoles,” Velie said. “They also determined the Seminoles, without this relationship with the government, were not authorized to conduct gaming.”

Ultimately, the Seminole freedmen were allowed back into the tribe, Velie said.

Velie said Saturday’s vote already has hurt the tribe’s public perception.

“It’s throwback, old-school racist rhetoric,” Velie said.

“And it’s really heartbreaking, because the Cherokees are good people and have a very diverse citizenship,” he said.

Miller, the tribal spokesman, defended the Cherokees against charges of racism, saying that Saturday’s vote showed the tribe was open to allowing its citizens vote on whether non-Indians be allowed membership.

“I think it’s actually the opposite. To say that the Cherokee Nation is intolerant or racist ignores the fact that we have an open dialogue and have the discussion, he said.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17442676/

Well F@ck you too!

The Greatest

2007-02-22T22:43:00.000-05:00

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS VIDEO!

(Thanks Shaun!)

RIP Dennis Johnson

2007-02-22T22:38:00.000-05:00

I remember his son and his family when they lived in Lexington. They were always cool with me. And he was a great player. RIP.

Here's a good obituary about D.J.

Everyone remembers his most famous play, right? Let's see who gets it right! (Of course a big clue would be to read the obit. Oh well...)

Thank you Ethan!

2007-02-07T07:18:00.000-05:00

This. Is. Amazing!

I love how in India a chubby guy can dance, sing and get a really beautiful girl. What a video!

Me versus ADD

2007-01-31T19:26:00.000-05:00

Been having that Harrick Conny (sic) Song, "Hear Me In the Harmony" stuck in my head.

And now that I'm having herbal tea without lemon, I'm singing the "Lemon" song from U2.

ugh....

back to applications!

Wedding page. Bells are ringing...

2007-01-30T22:08:00.000-05:00

Someone's wedding.

Mrs. Moses

2007-01-30T22:02:00.000-05:00

The Unit

2007-01-30T21:32:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm digging the Unit. I'm going to add it to the dvr list baby, I don't care what you think! I always catch bits and pieces of it and like what I see. Yeah, I may miss Knights of Prosperity, which apparently is like the next anointed sitcom, but still!

Today's issue: there was this white supremacist guy who gave fertilizer to a foreign terrorist. Which brings up a question: Why doesn't the government go after all those White Supremacist groups? Why don't they bust up those guys who helped the OK City bomber? They at least made it public they caught the ATL city bomber. But it just made me angry that there are all these proto-right groups that seek to tear America down, you know?

Alright, commercial break over. Peace!

Down to the wire homies

2007-01-29T20:05:00.000-05:00

Feb 1st is the deadline for Divinity school. I'm waiting for 2 more recommendations to come in, and then we're on and popping. I hope I get in, as all the schools I applied to are really high-caliber opportunities for a young man from the streets...of Lexington.

I think I'm going to start my own town called Lesington.

Did I share with you already this exchange between the galpal and I?

"You're giggling like a little boy. You're like a chubby 6-year old in a grown man's body."

"Correction, I'm a chubby 6-yeard old with a fat man's body."

I should have said, with a fat man's bosom. That would've been funnier.

Peace in the middle east?

one more before I have to hit the road...

2007-01-27T12:20:00.000-05:00

I'm in this movie.

It's playing at the Arlington Capital in March. Want to come see it?

I may have to turn in my nerd card

2007-01-27T12:02:00.000-05:00

...Because Highlander makes no sense to me anymore.

Pual Mooney is MONEY!

2007-01-27T10:36:00.001-05:00

Nice skit

2007-01-27T10:31:00.000-05:00

Guess who's Bizzack, bizzack on the block.

2007-01-11T21:28:00.000-05:00

Sup my peeps.

Been a whirlwind of junk. Man, I had some stuff that I wanted to blog about, but probably wasn't good given my new predicament. I mean, I was just pissed, blindsided and bottling stuff in.

You want to know about it? Email me...

Yo, so I get back on and blogger's gone all Andre 3000 on me? WHA?

So, I get to approve your comments and stuff now. I'm sorry that I wasn't up on it...but I will be now (for a while).

Afro Samurai.

Ehhhhhhh....yo! Wow. I love anime. It's so kinetic, but in more of a fluid way than frantic. It's a pretty interesting story. And it's one of those cyber- or steam-punk shows that combines western mythologies with modern day technologies. It is violent though. So be ware.

What else? Applying to grad school (cross fingers). Hope I get in.

Wedding plans are...well, they're being made. 'Nuff said.

Someone, a "Annonymous" (what a common name!), wants me to post this video: I don't know, but it seems kinda "meh."

Carl said something funny the other day: "I keep dvr-ing the Simpsons in case someone says, 'Hey, did you see the Simpsons?' But no one ever does."

Insert "wrestling" for Simpsons, and you got me. Man, am I growing up?

Nah...I mean, Great Khali? Well, at least Shawn Benjamin's still wrestling.

And see Tales from the Script, 8pm, Wednesday's in January. Bragging To Children's Shaun Butler's in it. He's nice.

Peace. Hit me up with an email. What's happening peoples?

Red

2006-11-07T22:13:00.000-05:00

I didn't really want to blog about Red Auerbach, mostly out of respect. He integrated basketball. He won 9 titles. He had nearly 1000 wins. As a coach. He had a hand in all 16 celtic championships. From integration, to his subtle hand behind the scenes during the Larry Bird years, Red changed not just basketball, but all of sports. It's hard to imagine what influence he had on all of sports, but it was tremendous. Maybe it's indirect, but he's the reason why my dad and I are such big basketball fans.

He will be sorely missed.

WOOOOO!!!!!

2006-11-07T20:27:00.000-05:00

WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Safe For Work...

2006-10-30T22:45:00.000-05:00

My Progenitor

2006-10-15T07:53:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if it's this one, or another one...but one of the John Chavis' was the first African-Americans to graduate from Princeton...

John Chavis
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

John Chavis (c. 1763-1838) was a black educator and Presbyterian minister in the American South during the early 19th century.

The exact date of Chavis' birth in not known. It is believed that he has born in either 1762 or 1763. One source claims he was born on October 18, 1763, but with no evidence given.

Information about Chavis' early life is scant as well, with few records to document it. It is believed that he may have been the 'John Chavis' who was employed as an indentured servant by a Halifax lawyer named James Milner. A 1773 inventory of Milner's estate does list an "indentured servant named John Chavis." Since Milner possessed a large library, it is likely that Chavis received some schooling during his period of service.

Chavis served as a soldier during the American Revolution. He enlisted in December 1778 and served in the Fifth Regiment of Virginia for three years. Captain Mayo Carrington of the Fifth Regiment of Virginia, wrote in a bounty warrant dated March 1783, that Chavis had "faithfully fulfilled [his duties] and is thereby entitled to all immunities granted to three year soldiers."

A 1789 tax list of Mecklenburg County, Virginia, shows that he was listed as a free black man owning one horse. He had married a woman named Sarah Frances Anderson, and they had one son, Anderson Chavis. In 1789, he was employed by Robert Greenwood's estate as tutor to Greenwood's orphans.

Chavis arrived at the Liberty Hall Academy in Lexington, Virginia in 1795, one year prior to George Washington's gift of 100 shares of James River Company Stock. He was still a student when the institution changed its name to Washington Academy. (Washington Academy would change its name a third time long after Chavis left the school, becoming Washington and Lee University.)

Prior to 1795, Chavis had resided in New Jersey, where he had taken private classes under John Witherspoon in preparation for entering the Presbyterian ministry. In the recorded minutes of the meeting of the trustees of the College of New Jersey (later to become Princeton University) dated September 26, 1792, there is a recommendation by Reverend John Blair that "Mr. Todd Henry, a Virginian, and John Chavis, a free black man of that state, ... be received" on the school's Leslie Fund. Chavis transferred to Liberty Hall Academy after Witherspoon's death in 1794.

On November 19, 1800 Chavis completed with high honors a rigorous theological examination that began on June 11, 1800. On this date, he was also granted a license to preach by the Presbytery of Lexington in Virginia.

Six months later, with high character recommendations from the Presbytery of Lexington, Chavis transferred to work under the Hanover Presbytery.

In April 1802, Chavis had applied for freedmen's papers and received them from Rockbridge County Court. It was recorded that "said [John] Chavis has been known to the Court for several year ... and that he has always ... been considered as a freeman, and they believe him to be such, and that he has always while in the county conducted himself in a decent orderly and respectable manner, and also that he has been a student at Washington Accademy [sic] where they believe he whent [sic] through a regular course of accademical [sic] studies."

Between 1801 and 1807, Chavis served as a circuit riding missionary for the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church to slaves and free blacks in the states of Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina. He also converted whites as well.

Chavis came to Raleigh, North Carolina sometime between 1807 and 1809, where he was licensed to preach the Christian Gospel by the Orange Presbytery. While he was not given a parish, he continued to preach to Black and White congregations in Granville, Orange, and Wake Counties. Some of the white congregations included slaveholders.

In 1808, Chavis opened a school in his home where he taught both white and black children. He placed ads in the Raleigh Register to encourage enrollment. At first he taught both races together, but after some white parents objected, he taught white children during the day and black children in the evenings. He charged white students $2.50 per quarter, and black students $1.75 per quarter. As an educator, Chavis taught full time and instructed his college bound white students in Latin and Greek, which were required study in the colleges and universities of that time.

His school was described as one of the best in the state. Students from some of the most prominent white families in the South studied were educated at Chavis' school. His students includes Priestly H. Mangum, brother of Senator Willie P. Mangum; Archibald E. Henderson and John L. Henderson, sons of Chief Justice Henderson; Governor Charles Manly; The Reverend William Harris; Dr. James L. Wortham; the Edwardses, Enlows (Enloes), Hargroves, and Horners; and Abraham Rencher, Minister of Portugal and Territorial Governor of New Mexico.

Chavis mainatained a friendship with one of his white students, Senator Willie P. Mangum. For many years, they conducted a corresspondence where Chavis often criticized the senator's political positions. Chavis, it seems was opposed to the abolition of slavery, had a great dislike for President Andrew Jackson and was opposed to the states' rights advocacy of Mangum and his colleagues. In 1837, Chavis published "An Essay on the Atonement," though no copies are known to have survived.

After Nat Turner, an educated slave and preacher in southern Virginia, led a bloody rebellion in 1831 that saw the murder of dozens of white men, women and children, slave-holding states quickly passed laws that forbade all blacks to preach. Although Chavis was forced to give up preaching and teaching school, the presbytery continued to pay Chavis $50 a year until his death to support him and his wife. The presbytery even continued payments to his wife after his death until 1842.

Relying on charity was not a new experience for Chavis. In the past he received financial assistance from his friend and former student, Senator Mangum. In 1825, Mangum helped him secure renewal on a bank loan for $270. Later Chavis asked Mangum to pay the interest of $30. Chavis was always able to turn to prominent white friends when he was in need, and usually they were generous to him.

Chavis died in June of 1838. The circumstances surrounding his death remain unclear.

Both Chavis Heights apartments and Chavis Park in Raleigh, North Carolina are named after him.
[edit]

Further reading

* Court Order Book, April 6, 1802. Rockbridge County, Virginia

* Washington & Lee University Trustees Papers (Folder 21) Room Rent Book, 1794-95. Washington & Lee University Library, Lexington, Virginia.

* Berlin, Ira. Slaves Without Masters: The Free Negro in the Antebellum South Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 1974.

* Franklin, John Hope. The Free Negro in North Carolina, 1790-1860 Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press, 1943.

* Kaplan, Sidney & Emma Nogrady Kaplan. The Black Presence in the Era of Revolution. Revised edition. Amherst, Mass.: University of Massachusetts Press, 1989.

* Quarles, Benjamin. The Negro in the American Revolution Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press for the Institute of Early American History and Culture, Williamsburg, Va., 1961.

* Shaw, G. C. John Chavis, 1763-1838. Binghamton, New York: The Vail-Ballou Press, 1931.

* Weeks, Stephen. "John Chavis: Antebellum Negro Preacher and Teacher." Southern Workman (February 1914): 101-106.

* Woodson, Carter G. Negro Makers of History Washington, DC: The Associated Publishers, 1928.

It's October already?

2006-10-11T17:45:00.000-04:00

normally when it's been a while I usually open up with an apology.
Or a new format.
or a new promise.
a new something.

Well, let me give you, for once, a new entry.

A couple of months ago I was going to open up a new website. My own domain. Fresh graphics and content, and even offer a place for people like yourselves to meet up. Sort of a forum or message board. It's an idea I've been sitting on for a while. Plus, I wanted to start a web-based business with the Angry Bostonian, but rather than mess up his idea, I decided it was better for me to get my feet wet a bit so that I could help him out more.

Then, we had a minor health crisis in my family and the money I saved for the project (and for my new car) was donated to the cause. I'd like to pretend that I'm all disappointed, but honestly I don't mind. It's always a pleasure and a privilege to give what you can.

Moving on. I am slowly coming back to a place where I can create what I want to. It's probably won't go live until late-November, but I think you'll like it. One of the jobs I interviewed for was a job as a PR-manager for a prominent Boston-area video game company. (RUN-ON SENTENCE! PHEW!) It was a job I've wanted for years. Obviously, we've decided to go in different directions (I think), but I decided to do a job similar to that, but on a part-time business. It's going to go very slowly at first, but I'm hoping to create an entertainment space for friends and colleagues to discuss and learn about interesting sub-culture phenomena.

We'll see how that goes. But I'm going to need your help, looking at the site, making suggestions, etc.

Also am a proud owner of a new Nissan Versa. It's a nice car. Email me, and I'll pick you up and take you for a spin. It'll change your life!

Hope you're well.

Congratulations to Amanda and Stace/"Steve" on their engagement. Awesome!

Blog Issues

2006-10-03T07:11:00.000-04:00

For some reason my blog's been tempermental this past week.

Will be updated once they fix whatever issues they got going on....

1812 Over Tour

2006-09-24T15:22:00.000-04:00

New job's been fine. Different work in some areas, but since it's the same industry, some things are the same. Getting used to different terminology because I'm in a different company, and a different type of insurance. And my co-workers are nice.

what's up with you?

Can I get political with y'all? Sure? Okay.

1) Hooray for Deval Patrick. I'm not a Healey fan, so I hope he wins in the Gov's seat.

2) Check this out from the War of 1812 entry in Wikipedia (well, at least I'm reading SOME-thing!)

The main reasons for America declaring war on the British were:
1) American Expansionists noticed that the Canadian colonies were only lightly defended by the British, and some Americans believed that the majority in the English-speaking area, at least, would rise up and greet an American invading army as liberators: as Thomas Jefferson suggested in 1812, "the acquisition of Canada this year, as far as the neighborhood of Quebec, will be a mere matter of marching, and will give us the experience for the attack on Halifax . . .

Where have I heard that phrase "greeted" as liberators before? And, um...did we win Quebec yet? Please don't tell me if anyone were to try to start a war under the pretext that American colonial interests are view positively by every free-thinking foreigner that it wil take us nearly 2 centuries and we still won't see the promised outcome.... Then again, Quebec is supposed to be a wonderful city. Maybe liberating it from a despot British ruler, and spreading our ideals of democracy is a reason why the drinking-age is so low, and many people visit it for it's, um..."nightlife." Oh wait, we never did liberate it from Britian (until recently when Canada became independent.) As it turns out, we offered Quebec statehood three times finally invading the place when they refused, only to be rebuffed by the French candians and the British army.

History's so depressing...

Back by popular demand!!!

2006-09-08T21:53:00.000-04:00

Fresh from Randy Hayes and Xavier Nazario of My Way Entertainment, to You Tube, and now to YOUR tube...

It's the Juggernaut...(you finish the rest).

Warning! It's crass...but there's a ton more movies just like that. Some with the Juggernaut, one of Batman, and a funny, but really offensive Pokemon parody called, "Find the Niggor." Yeah. Anyways, enjoy...

Please Please Please don't let this man be our next President.

2006-09-03T10:02:00.000-04:00

Please Please Please don't let this man be our next President.

First of all, he calls the only minority at an campaign event "macaca", but he fails to admit that it's a French racial slur. He apologizes for the "misunderstanding." But, maybe I'm missing something, but how is it that someone who's fluent in French, mother spoke French (she's from Tunisia), and...nevermind. But, his first excuse? "Oh, I heard my campaign workers calling him that." Any other, fair-minded Republican (and I know there's a few), wouldn't brazenly call someone any dirty name, at least not if there's a camera around. Then, said decent and fair-minded Republican would FIRE those staff members he heard using the racial slur. Or better yet, he would simply take the bullet himself and not offer his campaign workers for criticism (because then it makes it less likely more people would work for him).

But George Allen isn't decent and fair-minded. Although he grew up in California (apparently, routinely terrorizing his siblings--he hit his sister's boyfriend with a pool cue for goodness sakes!), GA has a strange and abiding love for the devil--I mean for the (c)onfederacy. He painted his car with it, wore a the flag as a lapel in highschool pictures, puts the flag in his office and home, and associates with far-right groups who use that flag as a rallying cry for white supremacy.

So please, those of you who are Republican and read this blog, please tell your friends NOT to vote for George Allen for Presidency. Unless Hillary runs, because he polls the worse out of all Republican candidates against her.

And he has two first names! I mean, come on!

Resignation Letter

2006-09-01T21:20:00.000-04:00

I resigned today from my job. I've thought, talked and prayed over it for the last few months. I've also talked around it, using hints and innuendos -- but finally I decided to do it.

With that, I'm going to take this labor day weekend off and redesign the website and put some effort and elbow grease into my "web presence". I'm going to take the next two weeks off, then I'm going to start my new job here in Worcester.

Hope all is well with you. Give me a call or an email. I'd love to hear from you.

- Cool Hand

Awesome...

2006-08-31T18:31:00.000-04:00

Has there been a better double-promo in the history of Wrestling?

I would love to imbed it, but honestly I do that too often. So check out the above link.

JoMilkman help me out here, because I'm sure Ric Flair and Rowdy Piper had a good one or two. (By the way, I have to give that DVD back to you.)

Dancing Hippo

2006-08-27T18:27:00.000-04:00

Should I get paid for this? (Warning: There's sound.)

16 pounds...

2006-08-27T12:38:00.000-04:00

That's what i've lost over the past month and a half...not excessive, but I'm still impressed. I'm very easily impressed with myself.

Hey, I'm buying a new car soon. Been talking to Carl, who knows a lot of stuff about...stuff. Do any of you know anything about buying (new) used cars?

Say it with me now...

2006-08-26T10:24:00.000-04:00

"Crap."

The following is from WWE.com:

Angle released
Aug. 25, 2006

Due to personal issues, Kurt Angle has been granted an early release from his contract. WWE looks forward to establishing a new relationship with Kurt in the near future.

The only Olympic gold medalist in WWE history, Kurt Angle arrived in 1999 and quickly became one of the most decorated champions in sports-entertainment history. "The Wrestling Machine" is not only a six-time World Champion, but also held the Intercontinental Championship and WWE Tag Team Championship; he also won the 2000 King of the Ring tournament. Recently joining ECW, Angle’s unmatched intensity was rivaled only by his technical and athletic in-ring prowess.

Rumors on the web are because he has neck issues, and maybe (hope this is wrong) he may be abusing painkillers to deal with it. (like I how i used "may" and "be" twice? you could tell I was wincing!). And he's having a tough divorce. (Women! Can't live with them, and can't live with them...thank you Dan Myung for that joke.) He's a great performer, but hopefully things'll work out.

Anyways, we at least have this champion:

ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!

kinda weird. they're calling him the wwe's first African-American champion. Kinda sad for two reasons. One, what took so long, and two, what about the Rock? I guess the Rock's dad was from Canada, but there really is no difference. It just means he was able to escape American racism..but since the Rock was born in America, I'm considering him black...even if he highly identifies with his Samoan roots.

Still...

I was watching the new "McMahon" dvd on Vince McMahon. It's intersting. The DVD has a great set of matches, some of his matches with Stone Cold, HHH, Undertaker. I thought there was a match with the Rock. Clearly McMahon cares about wrestling, about the product and about the fans. But it pains him a positive light, of course. If you want a better synopsis of the McMahon career, check out wikipedia. Warning some of the events are "kayfabe" or in character, so it's not always an accurate representation of his life...but still seems more complete than the DVD.

Some questions are left unanswered, some moments are left unaddressed. For instance, there was that very controversial steroid trial that Hulk Hogan actually testified on behalf of Vince McMahon. But McMahon, fearful that Hulk Hogan would capitalize on this in his rival company WCW, tore Hogan a new bunghole in the press. That created another rift between the two that was addressed in the DVD. For this information, you actually have to read wikipedia, or a message board, and then watch ANOTHER DVD, the Billy Graham story. It makes no sense to me. If you mention it in one retrospective DVD, why not do so in every DVD you produce about those players? They also don't address how this trial, and some public statements made by the WWE in the 80's and 90's exposed the sport as having "predetermined" results, and that irritated other promoters. But that isn't as intersesting to non-wrestling fans as the steroid trials.

What do they address? Surprisingly some things they do address. Like how a lot of employees hate some storylines as much as the fans, but it's Vince's vision. Sometimes you can say no, sometimes you can't. He does do a lot of behind the scenes stuff to help charities, other people, etc. But at the same token he can be very hard-charging and hyper-competitive to a point where some people suggested it can undermine his position. There was also an interesting tidbit about WCW, where some people named "McMahon" wondered if it was good for the company to buy out the competition, but only good for the McMahon-ego. I'll let you watch it and find out.

Anywhoo...I'm engorged on wrestling...

Hope all is well with you!

Is Russia really like this?

2006-08-24T23:51:00.000-04:00

buying a car

2006-08-24T14:46:00.000-04:00

i'm going to be buying a (used) car soon.

anyone who knows anything about cars willing to go with me and check them out?

Looking for friends...

2006-08-22T20:27:00.000-04:00

Hey,

One of the three leagues I'm in is looking for another team. Are you down?

And to those of you who are in the league which draft was on Monday...I wasn't at my computer so don't make fun of my "choices".

Also, for those of you who know my fiancee's email, please send her a note to say wuzzup, because she's in a difficult surgery rotation, and any kind words would lift her spirits.

And happy birthday to Alan. Hope the sox-angels game tonight is a good one. And take a picture of Anaheim's stadium for me.

Peace!

Quiz

2006-08-19T16:43:00.000-04:00

What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?

Your Lightsaber is BlueBlue is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, and truth.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Fiance or Fiancee?

2006-08-16T14:43:00.000-04:00

Why didn't anyone tell me that "fiance" is for males and "fiancee" is for females. Here I am thinking that people are suprised to see that my "fiance" and I are of different races, when actually people are surprised that my "fiance" isn't a "fiance" at all. ("The Crying Gammmme...") Someone should have told me sooner!

Is Robot Chicken Funny?

2006-08-13T15:04:00.000-04:00

Decide for yourselves...

Maybe...

Meh...

Maybe...but because we grew up watching Voltron.

Wu Tang on NPR

2006-08-12T20:50:00.000-04:00

Just looking up some Wu Tang info, and found this interview with the RZA on NPR. Man. Just listening to the musical bump,"Cream" brings back that same feeling of awe I had when I first heard the track way back when. Quite an interesting story. RZA, for being such a musical genius, had such an inquisitive mind and an unique gift for making tracks. Amazing!

Peace!

Edit:

Just listening to the interview a bit more...they play a clip from the soundtrack to "Ghost Dog", one of the most underrated independent or gangster related or or Jim Jarmusch or Forrest Whittaker related movie ever made. Have you seen it? See it!

Man what is Forrest Whittaker up to these days? I saw him on the Twilight Zone a while back. For some reason, whatever he's doing, even if the rest of the project's not great, I find myself watching him work. Can we give him a life-time achievement Oscar or something?

Edit:

Now the interview is getting long. Meh. Listen to it if you must...

On Notice!

2006-08-11T15:25:00.000-04:00

Preposterone!

2006-08-11T15:09:00.000-04:00

My female life partner is making me post this article online because I often ask her if I were to take a million steroids or testosterone, would I turn into a comic book super hero like Captain America. Apparently the answer is "no." Although she really should read Avengers #462. I'm just saying.

Anyways, from the NY Times...enjoy!

August 10, 2006
Does Testosterone Build a Better Athlete?
By NATASHA SINGER
TESTOSTERONE injections can make male rats more aggressive in marking their territories, cause castrated red deer to grow antlers, and induce female rhesus monkeys to screech like males. In studies on humans, testosterone injections have increased and strengthened muscles.

But does taking testosterone — a controlled substance whose possession is illegal unless prescribed for medical reasons — automatically improve athletic performance?

In sports, testosterone shots or creams are supposed to be magic bullets that spur athletes to train harder, run or bicycle more quickly, jump higher, swim faster, hit a baseball farther, recover sooner, and, let’s not forget, increased sex drive and combativeness. Certainly, the idea that taking doses of the hormone gives competitors an unfair advantage is behind the brouhaha over Floyd Landis, the 2006 Tour de France winner who French officials say tested positive for elevated testosterone on the day of his remarkable comeback during Stage 17. Mr. Landis has denied taking any performance-enhancing substances.

But some leading experts who study testosterone are not convinced that supplementing the hormone improves endurance or overall athletic performance. Unlike a hyper-caffeinated sports drink, the synthetic hormone does not provide an instant jolt, but works over time to bulk and fortify muscles.

What other effects taking testosterone may have on athletes is the subject of heated debate.

“A long-term buildup of testosterone would produce results,” said Allan Mazur, a professor of public affairs at Syracuse University, who has studied how the natural hormones of college athletes fluctuate before and after competitions. “But we don’t know the short-term effects of using testosterone on an athlete’s performance, or whether it even has a short-term effect at all.”

Secreted by the testes and adrenal glands, testosterone is the male sex hormone that generates and maintains secondary sexual characteristics like a deep voice and body hair. It also plays a role in body fat, and in muscle size, strength, and function.

Some athletes illegally use anabolic steroids, the muscle-promoting drugs or hormonal substances that are chemically related to testosterone, in the form of injections, skin patches, creams or pills. These steroids can stimulate muscle building. But they will not transform couch potatoes into pole-vaulters.

“Steroids are not going to take someone without athletic ability and turn them into a star athlete, or teach you how to swing a bat and connect with the ball,” said Douglas A. Granger, the director of the behavioral endocrinology laboratory at Pennsylvania State University. “But if you have a certain athletic presence, testosterone could take you to the next level.”

Steroids first became popular among American bodybuilders in the 1950’s after they began to suspect that gold-medal-winning Soviet weightlifters were using them, sports researchers said. But the American medical establishment did not believe that supplemental testosterone could promote muscle growth until the 1990’s when scientists began examining its effects, said Dr. Shalender Bhasin, a professor of medicine and chief of endocrinology, diabetes and nutrition at Boston Medical Center.

In 1996, Dr. Bhasin published a study in The New England Journal of Medicine on the impact of testosterone injections, given once a week for 10 weeks, on healthy adult males. The idea was to see whether testosterone might be used therapeutically in muscle-wasting diseases like AIDS. For volunteers who received testosterone, their triceps and quadriceps became larger and they had increased muscle strength during bench presses and squats.

“Synthetic steroids take you from being a natural normal male to being a supermale with muscles that are bigger and stronger,” said Dr. Donald H. Catlin, the director of the Olympic Analytical Laboratory, a drug-testing facility, at the University of California, Los Angeles. “Athletes love to take steroids because they work.”

But do bigger, steroid-enhanced muscles generate big winners?

“We assume that, if you are stronger, you will perform better, but that might not necessarily be true,” said Michael S. Bahrke, a steroids researcher in Ellison Bay, Wis., and co-editor of a book called “Performance-Enhancing Substances in Sport and Exercise.” “For football and baseball players, explosive muscle mass might relate to more power, but it is difficult to document that it leads to better performance.”

Larger muscles might even be detrimental for certain athletes. For marathoners, enhanced muscles could put more weight on joints than they can handle, leading to injuries, Dr. Bahrke said.

In addition to joint problems, taking steroids can cause side effects like oily skin, acne, shrunken testicles, sterility and male breasts. Synthetic testosterone can also inhibit good cholesterol, increasing the risk of heart disease.

But withdrawal, which can make some men deflate like used balloons, may be the most troubling problem. Taking steroids suppresses men’s own natural testosterone production. After athletes stop taking testosterone, the body may take weeks to months to return to normal hormone levels.

“In the meantime, you will have decreased muscles and decreased sexual function, such stressful withdrawal symptoms that many people go right back on testosterone,” Dr. Bhasin said.

Because of the possible side effects, doctors rarely experiment on humans by dosing them with testosterone unless it is for medical reasons. Without that kind of empirical data, scientists can only speculate on how testosterone may affect a person’s competitiveness and athletic ability, researchers said. But there are some intriguing observational data.

Observational studies of humans show that hormone levels may fluctuate during competitions. For example, Alan Booth, a professor of sociology and human development at Penn State, has conducted several studies with Dr. Mazur, and with Dr. Granger, in which they measured the testosterone in saliva samples taken from a variety of college athletes. Their studies found that many male and female athletes’ testosterone levels increased before competitions. After the competitions were over, among men, the winners’ testosterone levels tended to rise temporarily while the losers’ testosterone tended to drop.

The researchers cannot prove why the hormone fluctuated, but Dr. Booth theorized that post-game testosterone fluctuations may have originated during ancient tribal warfare, the kind of continuing life-or-death competition that would require long-term physical and mental readiness.

“If you win, you know you are going to be challenged again soon, so higher testosterone would keep you prepared for the next challenge,” Dr. Booth said. A dip in testosterone might make losers disinclined to fight further, he said. “Lower testosterone may keep individuals, who lost and got seriously wounded, from engaging in another immediate battle where they might suffer even more damage.”

But Dr. Bhasin said that such testosterone oscillations may play no role. Testosterone has been shown to rise a little in anticipation of exertion, like a treadmill run, he explained. “But the explanations of cause and effect between athletic performance and testosterone are very weak.”

Other researchers have speculated that taking testosterone may stimulate fine motor skills that improve athletes’ hand-eye coordination or help athletes recover from exertion by increasing the amount of oxygen in their bloodstreams.

Dr. Bhasin’s research contradicts some locker room myths. In his own study, the volunteers injected with testosterone neither experienced improved endurance nor exploded in ’roid-induced rage, he said.

“There have always been a lot of misconceptions about testosterone,” Dr. Bhasin added. “I’m very hopeful that clarity will emerge, but right now there is a lot of folklore.”

Wolf's Howl

2006-08-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

The Fiance started to laugh when I suggested that we have our wedding at the Wolf's Howl petting zoo. She looked at me funny when I suggested she comes riding in on two wolves. She then threw me out of the room when I suggested I would be wearing wolf pelts.

Psf!

Women!

Quit Using My Name!

2006-08-10T22:02:00.000-04:00

Terrorist plots always has some dumb mofo with my name. I was driving in and heard some guy say, "Why don't we just arrest some brown skin guy with the name Rasheed." Well, before the rest of America gets on board and drafts this into the new Patriot Act, let me just ay that I DO NOT in any way support terrorism. Quit using my name! Do not make me use a translation of my name, or worse, have me pick two random and crappy words to replace my Arabic-sounding name to avoid suspicion!

It's not fair....

Does anyone who shares a name with Timothy McVeigh or Ted Kazinski get suspicious looks? No! Shut up Carlos Mencia, I'm not Arabic, and I don't care if someone with the name Rasheed's a terrorist...I AM NOT A TERRORIST. I may be an educated black man, but I swear I am not a threat to America.

Why do people kill in the name of the Lord? When the neighborhood cat killed a mouse and brought it to my feet, did I say, "Thanks Mittens; you'll be blessed with a thousand virgins...Or boxes of catnip and kitty litter." Did I say that? No!

So quit f*$@%#! things up for the rest of us.

- Sincerely,

RASHEED HASAN

I mean,

ROD HAMMER

Because I...

2006-08-08T07:13:00.000-04:00

Because I like Space Invaders...

And I like Monty Python...

Fantasy Football

2006-08-07T20:52:00.000-04:00

I'm actually good at Fantasy Football. Baseball and Basketball, while I enjoy talking about those sports more, I never have time to check every day. But Football on the other hand... I'm not saying I'm going to win your league, but I'll definitely make a fine addition. I may make a dumb trade or two (screw you injured star quarterback!), but I'm down for joining and/or starting a league if you'd like.

Hit me up!

Did I do it again?

2006-08-05T07:49:00.000-04:00

Did I post that Pablo Francisco clip in an earlier post? Oh well, I'll give you another embedded video then. This one of a dude beatboxing. He's not as good as Rahzel or my boy Tyken, but damn he's pretty good! Even though he basically copies Rahzel. Maybe he figured that his mostly white audience wouldn't have heard Rahzel do this routine before.

There's a 5 am in the morning now? %*#@!

2006-08-05T06:53:00.000-04:00

Got up early to drive the fiance to the hospital for her surgery rotation/rounds/whatever this morning at 5:30. Go off and save the world honey! Or at least our little patch of Worcester...

So, since I'm up and trolling for videos to entertain myself, I thought I'd share some with you here.

Two are flash-thingies that you can go to the actual website to view, ok?

Let's start with three I can include here as imbedded videos.

(Above) Pablo Francisco is one of the funniest stand-ups around! Check out this video from the tonight show! He does things you may try to do when playing around with your friends (voices, parodies, etc), but you really can't do it with as much quality as he can. I tried to embed the Spikedhumor video, but I wasn't quite able to get the "embed src" code to work. I'll bone up on my html in the future. (hehe, i said, "up").

(Above) Who are these guys? "Ok, Go?" Is that name of the song or the video? Anyways... What a great music video! Reminds me I have to go to the gym when they open at 8.

(Above) For some reason I always remember this video from Tiny Toons when I was younger. I just think from a comedy perspective it's a brilliant parody of a They Might Be Giants song. In fact, I don't know what the original lyrics were anymore!

And here's a link to a flash video parody of Metal Gear Solid. Honestly, it's a little corny in parts.

And here's a link to a pretty amazing retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. Sad ending, and has gore so it's not safe for work.

Team 2xtreme is back!

2006-08-04T14:03:00.000-04:00

From impactwrestling.com:

"We can confirm that Jeff Hardy has signed a new deal to return to World Wrestling Entertainment. Reports suggest he will be tagging with his brother Matt Hardy for a Hardy Boyz reunion."

Woo-hoo! Outside of Harlem Heat and LOD, who had a better ring-entrance than this tag-team? Hogan's NWO and The Omega Powers don't count because they used his solo entrance theme. Speaking of which, can you imagine what NWO would have been like if they got Bret Hart on time like they wanted to? Would it have been as big?

Last question, if there was no Superstar Billy Graham to copy, would there be a Hulk Hogan?

Changes

2006-07-30T21:58:00.000-04:00

Today's Song: "Them Changes" - Buddy Miles w/Jimi Hendrix & the Band of Gypsys
Today's Video Game: "Civilization IV: Warlords"
Today's Movie: "World's Finest" by Sandy Collora (trailer)

Got some changes going on y'all! We're going to get a new website by middle-to-late August. It's going to have all these musings, along with a links for my comedy schedule, employment/cv links, some pictures of my ugh-lee mug, "culture", and (hopefully) a better place to put your thoughts. Looking for a good web server/hosting site to hold it on...So if you know of anything holler back. Current plan is to gerry-rig my new site using a whole bunch of free blog sites -- that way I can get it finished faster and on the cheap just to prove what I can do on a shoe-string budget.

In the meantime-in-between-time, check out this awesome fan-film trailer. Or as Stephen Colbert would say, "Awesome if you got any guts!" That makes no sense!

Peace!

I feel like a schmuck!

2006-07-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

I did not know that Lance Bass would come out of the closet the same day I made my Nsynce joke.

I could merely take it down, but it's fun to smack-talk your sister.

Quit looking at me!

My budget allows for one game this month...

2006-07-25T22:44:00.000-04:00

Civilization IV: Warlords or Major League Baseball 2k6?

To my sister

2006-07-25T22:40:00.000-04:00

I'm putting you on "blast."

Just because I like to listen to a couple Justin Timberlake songs and debate whether he or Usher will surpass Michael Jackson (hint: it might just be NeYo), doesn't make me any more or less secure in my masculinity as an African-American male.

Yes, I did use my fiance's fruit colored shampoo. I don't see your point?

Watching SNL

2006-07-23T21:40:00.000-04:00

I wish there were more women in comedy. I mean, how can you NOT laugh at Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and my fiance's future bridesmaid, Kristen Wiig.

I think BTC may be in the market for a few good women. It's a great, refreshingly different (re: non-violent, non-scat joke) comedy viewpoint. Know any? Hollar!

Chappelle Show

2006-07-23T21:33:00.000-04:00

Did anyone see the new shows? What did you think? Didn't Susan Sharandon look like she was 25 in that scene with "Lil' Jon?" Uh..nevermind.

Who made Paris Hilton into a music star?

2006-07-19T16:12:00.000-04:00

And why are you doing this to me?

Sincerely,
America

Seriously....

2006-07-17T16:05:00.000-04:00

Was there a better video game than this?

And before you answer...how many games had 13 endings? Wasn't this the first game to give you an incentive to play the game after beating it once-- using the same save you just used to beat it-- because you would have a different ending each time?

And let's not forget the soundtrack. And the decent sequel.

Ladies and gents (but especially the ladies), I give you...Chrono Trigger!

Not sure if this is real or not...

2006-07-09T22:05:00.000-04:00

Been trying to find out if it's a hoax, like that LeBron Nike commercial, but this might be real, like that Tiger Woods commercial. Still, this Ronaldinho guy is amazing (if this is real). Kinda thing that makes an American actually appreciate "football."

Nah!

By the way, I know the Tiger Woods commercial is real because I remember watching with my dad the outtakes they had on NECN of all places...

All-Star Break

2006-07-09T11:51:00.000-04:00

Manny Ramirez should play in the all-star game. Players need to realize how important the all-star game is. There shouldn't be cheesey gimmicks like more money or home-field advantage. In fact, players should lose money if they don't play. If there's a chance you can get hurt playing in an exhibition game, then you shouldn't play in the pre-season. In fact, let's not play the first half of the season, just go to a random lottery designed using a rotating array of numbers that correspond to the letters in a citie's name. The Angles don't get extra points for being "from" Los Angeles and "of" Anaheim. Douches, all of 'em. (That's what they get for wearing Willie Mays' #24--which is also my number!)

2006-07-09T11:43:00.000-04:00

Ra: Hmm..it's been a while since I've posted. What should I write about? Life in Worcester? Worcester being the MILF capital of the world? The horse that's in someone's back yard (or down the street), and is neighing like...well, like a horse? My bout with food poisioining that left me crying, forgetting my fiance's name, and losing 8 pounds? Nah. I can't even spell "poisoning."

Ponders.

Ra: Hmm..."Manny Ramirez should play in the all-star game. Players need to realize how important the all-star game is. There shouldn't be cheesey gimmicks like more money or home-field advantage. In fact, players should lose money if they don't play. If there's a chance you can get hurt playing in an exhibition game, then you shouldn't play in the pre-season. In fact, let's not play the first half of the season, just go to a random lottery designed using a rotating array of numbers that correspond to the letters in a citie's name. The Angles don't get extra points for being "from" Los Angeles and "of" Anaheim. Douches, all of 'em. (That's what they get for wearing Willie Mays' #24--which is also my number!)"

Ponders.

Ra: Ahh...Just sit back and watch the hits and praises roll in.

Sips Low-calorie Lemonade. Goes back to cave.

17 Days...

2006-06-23T11:52:00.000-04:00

Hi Friends.

It's been 17 days since I last blogged. I've been busy with quite a few projects. For example, right now I'm debating whether to change this blog into something that reflects those projects, and create a separate new blog that has some of the same personal stories on it that this one does? Or, should I create a proper website that allows people to choose which window of my life they'd like to peer through?

I want to reconsider my blog because I know some people I do or want to business with are googling me and coming to here. I'm curious if I could stand out more in my career if I create a superbly written business blog and keep a private blog for the rest of you? Or, should I just assume that this won't be a big deal?

But I've been meeting new people. Working on business and "bidness", and plan to reveal all very shortly. It's been an interesting trip. I feel like I'm slowly waking up and stepping out of my self-created shell. I feel, or better (and more abstractly) yet, I perceive a new world ahead of me. And I would like to share it. I've also had quite a few funny experiences -- okay, funny to me-- that I know some of you might want to hear.

Wait! Now I'm rambling. So, which would you like? One blog or two?

By the way, "17 Days" is a great song my Prince. Ch-ch-check it out!

Moving

2006-06-06T09:54:00.000-04:00

Moving this Sunday. Anyone want to help?

Also, show tonight. 8:30. 835 Beacon St, Boston, Ma.

Careful...

2006-06-05T08:48:00.000-04:00

You know I probably shouldn't make snap decisions on which programs to watch based on one viewing on YouTube...but I'm awfully tempted to put Hulk Hogan's "Hogan Knows Best" on the DVR schedule.

2 pairs in one day

2006-05-30T23:41:00.000-04:00

so earlier in the day, I ripped my pants. twice-once in the, um..."the middle". and the other time i ripped my belt buckle because it got stuck in my briefcase.

the second pair i lost was during tonight's performance, when I was supposed to take a pratfall, but my pants got caught, and almost my entire zipper region was exposed the audience.

ahh...the things I do for my crap.

I mean, craft.

Thanks to Afro, Judith, Jon Kean, Auggie and Kyle for coming out.

Peace!

Radio Plug

2006-05-30T17:04:00.000-04:00

we were mentioned on the radio, and on the website. in the same breath as a member of Phish. Sweet!

http://www.waaf.com/Article.asp?id=171763

BTC, Tuesday night, beaches!

Some of you have nightmares for dreams...

2006-05-30T10:51:00.000-04:00

...but can i tell you about MY real-life nightmare?

i'll be quick, since i have a big day at work today. time for "STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS-NESS STYLE":

woke up early. going to go to gym. putting on my socks. got hypnotized by computer. drove to gym. decided had no time for gym. got ready for work. got caught in traffic. got breakfast burrito at "lowfat Knowfat". realized said burrito is the size of macdonald's old burrito, but 3 times more expensive. got to work. realized i had a whole in my pants (yep. THAT type of hole). as i was walking up the stairs, my belt loop got caught in the zipper of my briefcase. so i was trying to untie it with my hands around my back. had to get co-worker Sharon to help out. now i have two holes in my pants. and i have a very important prospect/new business oportunity lunch at noon sharp. no time to get some new pants. crap.

Show

2006-05-30T10:49:00.000-04:00

So,

Bragging To Children decided to "go dark" this past month and work on completely new matieral. Tonight, starting at 8:30pm tonight at An Tua Nua (835 Beacon St), we will debut that new material. Tickets are $7.

The Albino Code

2006-05-22T09:01:00.000-04:00

Just saw The Da Vinci Code ...parts of it were entertaining, parts dragged. It wasn't as bad as the critics said, and to be quite honest, if you sit down for a minute and think about it, it wasn't as blasphemous as people make it out to be. There's a lot of extrapolation like, "well, I don't mean to be rude or say anything spiteful (after all, I do attend church regularly), but what if all of this is wrong?" They just plop that right in the middle of the film and all of a sudden that's supposed to make some of the anti-Catholic things okay. Oh well.

But let me share with you something funny. You've probably heard of "The Albino Code". If not, this local comedian and actor, Dennis Hurley, is in fact a "person with albinism". He's made a spoof of it, that everyone from CNN, Boston Globe, Fox News, etc, etc, are talking about. He's hosted a Bragging To Children show when we performed with the Tribe last year, and he's also been in many projects with members of the group (so, you should come more often to see us). This just in, his movie trailer is playing at the Cannes Film Festival. Cool, no?

Click here to watch it, if you have a high bandwith. It's a funny movie!

And Dennis has asked me to post this:

Come to a FREE 12 minute SCREENING of www.albinocode.com

The first Da Vinci Code PARODY.... made by a real Albino

THE

ALBINO

CODE

Actor, Writer, Executive Producer, Dennis Hurley

www.dennis-hurley.com

www.albinocode.com
RSVP: email dhcontacts@gmail.com
FREE SCREENING is Tuesday, May 23, 7.15pm at

The Drama Book Shop
250 West 40th Street - between 7th and 8th Avenues
New York, NY 10018

To RSVP: email dhcontacts@gmail.com with your name, .., the amount people in your party! or call 212-636-9174 and leave a message with Dennis Hurley. Seats are filling up!

www.albinocode.com - Join Our Mailing List!

A New Thing I'm Apart of...

2006-05-20T18:40:00.000-04:00

http://www.lowellcomedyfestival.com/

Media Contact: Meghan O’Sullivan
978-264-0707x201

Wayne Brady To Headline 2006 Lowell Comedy Festival, June 8th-11th

This Year’s Festival Will Showcase Forty of The Nation’s Top Improv and Sketch Troupes from Chicago, Boston, San Francisco and New York and Around New England

(Lowell, Massachusetts) May 8, 2006 - - More than one hundred improvisers, stand-up comedians, and filmographers will descend upon the City of Lowell on June 8-11th for what Lowell hopes to be the emergence of one of the nation’s leading comedy festivals.

This year the Lowell Comedy Festival (LCF) has expanded to include five stages to showcase the approximate forty troupes slated to perform in the four day festival. This year’s line-up includes performers from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (UCB) in New York City; BassProv from Second City in Chicago; JoKyR and Jesster from Utah; Stranger than Fiction and Uphill Both Ways from California, the mainstage cast from Improv Boston and the comedic talents of Boston’s Walsh Brothers. Other highlights include a performance from Misunderstood, a musical rock opera, entirely improvised and performed with a live band; Brian Longwell, your favorite non-motivational speaker; and the Late Night Players to name a few.

Performances will take place at the Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Merrimack Repertory Theater, DoubleTree Hotel, Old Court Pub and Revolving Museum. In addition to Improv comedy, the festival will showcase stand-up, film, sketch, and classes from some of the best teachers and directors in the country.

“We hope that this will be the beginning of a festival that will someday be on a par with Chicago’s Improv Festival and Montreal’s Comedy Festival, but we are starting small,” says J. Matthew Coggins, Assistant City Manager. “Right now we are inviting troupes who are instrumental in the growth of the national improv scene and hope that over the weekend, they see the potential of the Lowell Comedy Festival and participate in the building of it.”

“This is the only comedy festival in the country that is sponsored by a city,” says LCF’s artistic director Will Luera, “That alone is creating big ‘buzz’ on the national scene. I’m also excited to be putting together a festival that features every style of comedy,” says Luera, who is also a performer and artistic director for Improv Boston. “This festival is going to have something for everyone. We’ve also arranged for people to be able to roam from venue to venue by staggering shows on the half hour.” According to Luera, each show will feature at least three acts. Log-on to www.lowellcomedyfestival.com for details.

Locations and Times

Merrimack Repertory Theatre
Showcase Shows
50 East Merrimack Street
Friday, 7:00 [Stranger Than Fiction (SF);Romance 101 (Lowell); UCB (NYC)]
Friday, 9:00 [UCB(NY); Uphill Both Ways (SF); BassProv (Chicago)]
Saturday 7:00 [BassProv (Chicago); Joker and Jester (Utah) Black Jew Dialogues (Boston)]
Saturday 9:00 [Stranger Than Fiction (SF); Uphill Both Ways (SF) Jokyr and Jester (Utah)]

DoubleTree Hotel
New England All Stars (Improv)
Thursday, 8:00 [New England Family; DeBattle; Mosaic]
Friday, 7:30 [Misunderstood; Kamikaze Comedy(VT);Am I A Ghost?]
Friday, 7:30 [Improv Boston Mainstage; Crackers In Bed; TheatreSports]
Saturday, 7:30 [The Tribe Players; Agent Spy; Seriously]
Saturday, 9:30 [Unexpected Company; Stranger than Fiction (NH); Dirty Puppets]
Classes: Saturday and Sunday A.M – P.M.

Old Court Pub
Central Street
Standup and Sketch
Friday, 8:00 [WPI Alumni Project; The City Never Sleeps; Perfect Monster]
Friday, 10:00 Show [Walsh Bros Host Standup]
Saturday, 8:00 [Whose in the Doghouse?; Late Night Players; Cleanest River in America)
Saturday 10:00 [Walsh Brothers Host Stand-Up]

Revolving Museum
Shattuck Street
Film
Friday, 11:00 [Barmanda: The Sequel; Card Sharks; Grillz; Lunches with Laura; Sam Adams]

Tickets

Tickets for each show are $10 per person. $20 will buy you an evening pass to all shows. And $40 will buy you a pass to all performances, all weekend. These prices exclude the price for attending Wayne Brady. Tickets can be purchased at the door of each venue beginning one hour before each performance.

Tickets for Wayne Brady range from $40-$53 can be purchased separately from the Lowell Memorial Auditorium by calling 978-454-2299 or through Ticketmaster. Those who attend Wayne Brady’s show at the Auditorium will receive a FREE all festival pass to the remainder of the festival.

For more information on performers, performance times and locations, log-on to www.lowellcomedyfestival.com

Comings and Goings

2006-05-16T11:35:00.000-04:00

Props go out to Elliott Kim who made the big move to L.A. this weekend (I think, because I missed him on the phone).

Did I show you guys this article?

I hate video games. Reason 1...and Reason 2.

I also don't if there's a subject that can't be turned into a "Mother's Against.."

Just finalizing some details on the new apartment that my gf...excuse me, my fiance (not this one)and I are going to rent in sunny, sunny Worcester over the next year. But at $750, all amenities including laundry and dishwasher...not too bad! I'll have to buzz you in, and let you in the "Gates." Yes, it's got big steel iron gates to keep out the "kids" from the street. Whatev!

And we just found out that we can't have our wedding in our old dorm. All those thoughts of having people eat off plastic trays and bus their own meals while sitting in uncomfortable chairs from the 40's are out the window. Sigh!

What's new in your neck of the woods?

Edit: I also can't stand it when people edit your prepositions, for example, when you use in instead of at. Whatev'.

Why my girlfr---I mean my fiance loves Dance Dance

2006-05-12T14:01:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

New article...

2006-05-12T13:34:00.000-04:00

My group made it to another magazine, IN Newsweekly. Big props go to Sean Paul Cormier for a kick-butt article...

Screw You Guys...2

2006-05-12T12:48:00.000-04:00

i don't care you anymore.

for this one reason:

did you realize there was a Chuck Norris cartoon called "Chuck Norris Karate Komandos?" Did you know that said cartoon had a character named "Super Ninja" as the bad guy, and an Asian sidekick named "Too Much." WHAT?

And if you did know, why didn't you tell me? I thought we were friends?

To Hell with this!

Shut up...you know this is funny:

2006-05-12T00:05:00.000-04:00

Good point

2006-05-08T09:20:00.000-04:00

Just reading the Reverend Tim McIntire webpage. He has this comment about Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner:

Friday, May 05, 2006
More On Colbert

The thing about Colbert's performance and whether or not it was funny or appropriate is that basically, from a comedian's perspective, it's just another shitty private gig. Really, it's something that every comic with any time in this business at all has seen dozens of times.

You get hired by a company to do their annual party. The person who hires you tells you they want you to write jokes about the owner. They tell you he can take a joke, and they give you tons of stuff that they practically beg you to use. He cheats at golf, they say. He wears a wig. He yells at his secretary. Definitely mention how fat he's gotten, they tell you. Don't worry, he'll love it, they promise you. Then the night comes, and you get there, and as soon as the very first fat joke bombs, you can feel them turn, and the people who hired you suddenly pretend they had nothing to do with it, and you suffer through the silence, and when it's over, and you're talking to the very same people who told you to talk about the guy's wooden leg, they look at you and say, "What happened? You weren't funny."

Agreed!

Blog wishes...

2006-05-05T15:42:00.000-04:00

I wish Fan W and John B would have blogs (or tell me about it if they do.). Do you think that would be funny? Those of you who know them, know what I'm talking about...

You know you're a nerd when...

2006-05-05T15:40:00.000-04:00

You see one of those "word verification" things (to prove that you're not a spammer), and the letters are "manhcl" and you immediately think, "oh, Human Hydrocloric Acid? Hmm...Do those have covalent bonds?" And then you smack yourself because it's nigh impossible for non-oxygenated molecules to have covalent bonds.

And then you realize you're just throwing words at the screen.

Simple Pleasures in Life, part A. xvii

2006-05-03T12:36:00.000-04:00

My new deodorant. "Fresh Scent." Not bad!

I'm the luckiest man alive

2006-04-30T22:46:00.000-04:00

I haven't been blogging much, because I had some BIG changes in my life, and I didn't want to spoil the surprise by tipping them off accidentally in my blog.

As of 8:15, Saturday April 29th, KBraptor has made me the happiest and luckiest man on the planet. To set the scene, I asked KB earlier in the week if she wanted to go for a walk--which was weird because I hate walking in the AM. Then this Saturday, we woke up (me MUCH earlier because I was having nightmares that my ring was inadequate. Yes, my ring only. aHEM!), and drove to the Week's Foot Bridge, the place of our first "date" many years ago.

I asked her to pose for a picture, which made her even more suspicious because I don't really take pictures. And while I'm fumbling for the ring I hid in the camera case, I'm trying to say some long speech that I had memorized earlier in the week. Of course, I forgot that I was only thinking the speech and not actually saying it.

So, when I presented her the box, I completely jumbled and botched the line, "Will you make me the luckiest man and do me the honor of marrying me, KB," I think I said something like, "Will you me and make me the luckiest man of marrying me and do me the honor." Eventually I just gave up and thrust the box at her.

She was like, "Are you kidding me."

Then I got up on my knees. And then I said, "Wait, is that a yes?"

And she said, "Yes, it was a yes." Smiled, and we hugged and kissed.

I then proceeded to try and get people to take our picture, but I think the site of a big, black man in a hooded sweatshirt, lunging at passerbys, yelling something unintelligible scared people off.

Me: "heywillyoutakeapictureofmeandmynewfiancerightnowbythebridge?"
Them: "Uhhh-hhhh! AHH!!!!"

Yes indeedy. For the past two months, I've been to nearly 20 jewelry stores (some of them more than twice), brought out 5 people, and changed my mind at least 9 times on which ring I wanted to buy.

Now, I'm engaged. Wow....what a day.

Don't ask about the wedding (or if I have to a tracking device inserted underneath my skin). Let me take this one day at a time.

2006-04-28T16:15:00.000-04:00

Taking a new writing course. Said I should start writing more often. Using lists of 10s to organize my thoughts (kinda like jackie graham's "8-ball"). Well, 13 and 24 are lucky numbers for me... Uh, don't think I can do 24...Let's see what I can do.

So, here I go...
1) Don't really like touchy-feely or emotional movies because I usually avoid uncomfortable confrontations or change in my life unless I'm really mad.

2) Need to work on that huge fault in my personality because it's not really leading me anywhere. I should also try being less stubborn to change, and just relax and not get angry.

3) I should get over #1 + #2 and go see that movie "Akeelah and the Spelling Bee"; and then see, "United 93" about September 11. Just deal with the fact that I may be uncomfortable to see people deal with adversity. But here's why Akeelah might be a gem. From Wesley's Morris Boston Glove review from 4/28/06. Bold and Italics are my own.

The movie nails the contradiction gifted students feel in an
inhospitable environment. Akeelah skips a lot of her classes because the curriculum is unchallenging. But her friendship with Javier (J.R. Villarreal), a charismatic fellow speller whose family is much better off, exposes her to nicer neighborhoods and his more academically rigorous school. In one touching scene, Akeelah shows up with her best friend, Kiana (Erica Hubbard), at Javier's house for a party. Kiana is so perplexed by the rainbow of happy, frolicking kids that she can't even bring herself to get out of the car.
Alas, the film is full of black children, like Kiana, whose self-esteem is eaten away by defeatism and a cancerous inferiority complex that seems to pervade the entire community. But in a moment that, due to its uplifting preposterousness, amounts to an act of magical realism, Akeelah's entire neighborhood helps her study for the bee -- from her mother and her mailman to the local gangsta!
Later in the movie, that device is repeated, producing one of the happiest feelings I can remember having in a theater. Obviously, it's emotional propaganda. But it's just the kind of propaganda our children need.

4) Can any of those things count for more than 1?

5) Baseball is a fun sport. If the Tampa Bay Devil Rays weren't in the same division as the Red Sox, I'd root for them like crazy. Young, play hard, incredibly fast...sure, a player might throw a bat at an umpire or at the opposing picture, but that's just ONE guy. The whole team has wicked potential.

6) The Celtics need to make the basketball playoffs next year, and have a fighting chance to win. NO EXCUSES!

7) Basketball needs an organized minor league like baseball. Baseball remains in our national conscience, not because it's the most fun sport to play, nor because it's the cheapest or most expensive...it just has it's roots into every community. Even communities where football or even basketball takes root, baseball teams at every professional level try to keep a certain level of comittment to developing young players and youth interest in the sport. Except in Boston, but you could tell the city of Boston that the sky is blue and it'll find creative ways to make it permamently gray. If basketball did that, showed the same committment in the US like it's doing in Europe, without relying on shady AAU "camps" run by shoe-companies, it would see it's ratings increase and the level of play elevate beyond it's current annoying mix of thuggery.

8) I think the point of the lists is to write something minor to keep your creative juices flowing and not having it bogged down by a single point.

9) Duly noted. And next time, I'm using a smaller number like "4" or "3 x 2/3 - 19^1 + 4".

10) Video games are addictive. Pretty soon every pusher-man's going to be hawking the newest EA Sports video game, or a year-long subscription to IGN.

11) Why does money rule the world? Why can't we just try to make each other comfortable and try hard NOT to make each other uncomfortable? Why do we always need to keep score?

12) Is there a better action film than Bad Boys? Is it not called Die Hard?

13) Since this is a prime number, remember Optimus Prime? How about Prime from Mailbu Comics?

My Next Video Project

2006-04-26T19:52:00.000-04:00

And I'm not even kidding about this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frTEAHeBtus

And here's what other people have done. There isn't a 5 person one yet. Shut up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u12gN1s6lik&search=haruhi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzssvTk4YC8&search=Haruhi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EtveuCueV8&search=Haruhi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8ybjdPSLGI&search=Haruhi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybDdUDdeuUo&search=Haruhi

Just wrong...John Henry was one of my heroes!

2006-04-26T18:46:00.000-04:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45794/print/

Modern-Day John Henry Dies Trying To Out-Spreadsheet Excel 11.0
February 27, 2006 | Issue 42•09

BALTIMORE—Office laborers across the nation are mourning the passing of Wallace Peters, 42, the mythic three-column accountant at Chesapeake & Ohio Consultants who pitted himself against Microsoft's latest version of the popular spreadsheet program Excel.

Although Peters was able to balance his sheet a full 10 seconds before the program did, the man celebrated in song and story as the "cubicle worker's John Henry" was pronounced dead of a coronary thrombosis late Monday evening.

The late Wallace “Wally” Peters, whom colleagues are calling a 21st-century John Henry
"He died with his pencil in his hand," shift supervisor Thomas Kaptein said. "Wally Peters was an accounting-driven man."

Peters was known for remarkable physical attributes. Sources from Chesapeake & Ohio report that the accountant had a neck so skinny, his necktie had to be slung a dozen times around it. Those who worked closely with Peters say he had the strength of one-tenth of a man, could tabulate two tables of figures at once, and had thumbs and middle fingertips so calloused that he could sharpen a pencil with his bare hands.

Peters challenged the computer after an interoffice memo announced that Excel's powerful upgraded accounting software would render jobs in the accounts receivable division obsolete and result in sweeping layoffs. Although warned repeatedly by his colleagues in billing, Peters insisted that he could beat the software "to the bottom of a large balance sheet of bedrock-hard figures."

Accounting crewmen who worked alongside Peters said his legend as an accounting hero was formed by his willingness to answer to the challenge.

"He'd tell us, 'Now, 20 rows down, the accounting's hard as granite—it's the hardest thing an office man can stand,'" said Huddie Ledbetter, one of Peters' former trainees, "'but you keep your pencil sharp, and you keep your pencil working. It's the life of a numbers-crunchin' man.'"

Sources say Peters, who was born to poor temp workers in eastern Virginia, would often go to offices where his mother worked and sit on her knee. According to his family, he once took up her pencil and said, "Pencil be the death of me. Oh, Mommy, this pencil be the death of me."

Assistant accountingman William Broonzy said he would never forget the sight of Peters battling the mechanical spreadsheet.

"The Excel spreadsheet started off to working, with its hourglass running hard there on the screen," Broonzy said. "But old Wally Peters had his pencil filling columns, throwing graphite off like locomotive steam.

"It threw graphite like a smokestack throwing steam," he added.

"He was adding up three columns like a thresher threshing wheat," said Kaptein, who admitted feeling some remorse about allowing the contest to happen.

As the software whirred away across the desk, Peters' coworkers report that they knew the big numbers would put Wally to the test.

Peters matched the spreadsheet cell for cell, even though complicated quarterly-returns numbers for one of Chesapeake & Ohio's largest clients, Greater Southern Intellectual Properties, slowed both man and machine.

Witnesses said that when Peters wrote his balance down, he lifted his head up with pride, secure in the knowledge that he had saved his colleagues' jobs. As the sheets finally came off the printer, Peters laid his pencil down and died.

"We all saw it happen," Broonzy said. "He just laid his pencil down and died."

"When I hired him, he said, 'Boss, I am a born accountant. I can add a thousand numbers in my head,'" Kaptein said. "A thousand forests were felled for his pencils with their lead, and now poor Wally Peters lies here dead."

Shortly after Peters' death, top executives announced that all of the company's accountants will keep their jobs, but they will be trained to use Excel.

Survived by his wife, Peters will be buried at Mount Marian Cemetery next Sunday, pencil in hand.

Why My GF's awesome...

2006-04-22T22:50:00.000-04:00

Me: " Yeah, some people consider it the gateway to the South."
GF: "So, it's like the marijuana of the South."
Me: "That's pretty good. Is that one yours?"
GF: "Yes. I am funny."
Me: "So, it's like how the Golden Arches are like the marijuana to the West."
GF: "Close, except that it's the Arche in St. Louis. Golden Arches are McDonald's."
Me:"Oh. I think I'll brush my teeth."

An East-meets-West sense of humor

2006-04-22T12:01:00.000-04:00

I think the guy at the end says, "Good luck with that." Or something like that.

From Men's Health...

2006-04-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

Let some other guy worry about all this nonsense

By: Duane Swierczynski, Illustrations by: Steve Brodner

Losing your hair. We're at a point in evolution when our bodies have decided, You know what? The furry stuff on top of our heads? Not really useful. Women know this. They look at Ed Harris and think, That guy has evolved.

What your father-in-law thinks of you. She married you because you're either just like him or his polar opposite. Either way, you're covered.

How cool your job is. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Be you an oyster shucker or a hit man, the important thing is that they pay you for having fun.

Your prowess behind the wet bar. You can make 31 kinds of martinis? So what? You're a man, not Baskin-Robbins. All you need is a tumbler and two fingers of scotch. Some ice, if you're taking it easy tonight.

Death. It'll be either unremarkable or really cool. If it's the latter, smile as fate cuts you down. Some guys sell their souls to be as cool in life as you'll be in death.

Going to work early. In the words of John D. MacDonald, "The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm."

Fame. Kato Kaelin is famous. Lynndie England is famous. You don't need to be famous.

Perfect attendance. People who take personal and sick days are happier, more rested, and in better physical condition to beat the living crap out of people with perfect attendance.

Warping your kids. Keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole and you're ahead of the game.

Being witty. A quiet, knowing smile says "mature wisdom"; a crude joke about Lindsay Lohan says, "I haven't been laid in months."

How much money your colleagues make. They probably have smaller penises.

Pleasing everybody. You can't please everybody. But you can pleasure a few.

Getting fired. Dismissal from a job is always a promotion in disguise. You can catch an afternoon game, rethink your career, and bring possibility back into your life--all while the guy who just fired you is still at work.

Keeping up with technology. Because years from now, you'll learn you're just a simulation stored in some computer deep in the future. You think you're alive. You're not. You're a string of data manipulated by pimply programmers in small cubes. So does it really matter if your old iPod stores only 15,000 songs?

Slaving to fashion trends. It's the quickest way to date yourself. Everybody knows that the only thing Don Johnson ever wore was pastels.

Anniversary gifts. Remembering your anniversary, however, is worth its weight in diamond tennis bracelets.

That your wife doesn't look like Denise Richards. Because then everybody would go around saying, "Hey, look at that assclown with Denise Richards."

Religion. Keep your moral compass pointed due north, no matter your denomination, and you'll never have to worry about a collection plate.

The size of your penis. Especially if you're hung like Gene Simmons's tongue.

Her prior sexual experiences. People had your job before you, too. Someone else may have it after you. But it's your job now. Go to work.

Your prior sexual experiences. Unless you've had the clap so many times your college nickname was "Applause."

Pop culture. Brangelina might as well be a new high-fiber laxative. When's Fight Club 2 coming out?

Worrying about the afterlife. Why ruin the surprise?

Wealth. Make too much money and you end up wearing too much heavy gold and spoon-feeding Beluga caviar to a shih tzu. Who needs that?

What you don't have. Raymond Chandler's Philip Marlowe said it best: "I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat, and a gun."

People need to start listening to me...

2006-04-18T13:57:00.000-04:00

Look for yourself to see how much hate is coming from the Fundamentalist Right. This wasn't Christ's message people!

Ny Times
April 17, 2006
Outrage at Funeral Protests Pushes Lawmakers to Act
By LIZETTE ALVAREZ
NASHVILLE, April 11 — As dozens of mourners streamed solemnly into church to bury Cpl. David A. Bass, a fresh-faced 20-year-old marine who was killed in Iraq on April 2, a small clutch of protesters stood across the street on Tuesday, celebrating his violent death.

"Thank God for Dead Soldiers," read one of their placards. "Thank God for I.E.D.'s," read another, a reference to the bombs used to kill service members in the war. To drive home their point — that God is killing soldiers to punish America for condoning homosexuality — members of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., a tiny fundamentalist splinter group, kicked around an American flag and shouted, if someone approached, that the dead soldiers were rotting in hell.

Since last summer, a Westboro contingent, numbering 6 to 20 people, has been showing up at the funerals of soldiers with their telltale placards, chants and tattered American flags. The protests, viewed by many as cruel and unpatriotic, have set off a wave of grass-roots outrage and a flurry of laws seeking to restrict demonstrations at funerals and burials.

"Repugnant, outrageous, despicable, do not adequately describe what I feel they do to these families," said Representative Steve Buyer, an Indiana Republican who is a co-sponsor of a Congressional bill to regulate demonstrations at federal cemeteries. "They have a right to freedom of speech. But someone also has a right to bury a loved one in peace."

In the past few months, nine states, including Oklahoma, Wisconsin and Indiana, have approved laws that restrict demonstrations at a funeral or burial. In addition, 23 state legislatures are getting ready to vote on similar bills, and Congress, which has received thousands of e-mail messages on the issue, expects to take up legislation in May dealing with demonstrations at federal cemeteries.

"I haven't seen something like this," said David L. Hudson Jr., research attorney for the First Amendment Center, referring to the number of state legislatures reacting to the protests. "It's just amazing. It's an emotional issue and not something that is going to get a lot of political opposition."

Most of the state bills and laws have been worded carefully to try to avoid concerns over the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of speech. The laws typically seek to keep demonstrators at a funeral or cemetery 100 to 500 feet from the entrance, depending on the state, and to limit the protests to one hour before and one hour after the funeral.

A few states, including Wisconsin, also seek to bar people from displaying "any visual image that conveys fighting words" within several hundred feet or during the hours of the funeral. The laws or bills do not try to prevent protesters from speaking out.

Constitutional experts say there is some precedent for these kinds of laws. One case in particular, which sought to keep anti-abortion picketers away from a private home, was upheld by the Supreme Court in 1988.

"A funeral home seems high on the list of places where people legitimately could be or should be protected from unwanted messages," said Michael C. Dorf, a constitutional law professor at Columbia University Law School.

The Westboro Baptist Church, led by the Rev. Fred Phelps, is not affiliated with the mainstream Baptist church. It first gained publicity when it picketed the funeral of Matthew Shepard, a gay man who was beaten to death in 1998 in Wyoming.

Over the past decade, the church, which consists almost entirely of 75 of Mr. Phelps's relatives, made its name by demonstrating outside businesses, disaster zones and the funerals of gay people. Late last year, though, it changed tactics and members began showing up at the funerals of troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups, has put it on its watch list.

Embracing a literal translation of the Bible, the church members believe that God strikes down the wicked, chief among them gay men and lesbians and people who fail to strongly condemn homosexuality. God is killing soldiers, they say, because of America's unwillingness to condemn gay people and their lifestyles.

Standing on the roadside outside Corporal Bass's funeral here under a strikingly blue sky, the six protesters, who had flown from Topeka, shook their placards as cars drove past or pulled into the funeral. The 80-year-old wife of Mr. Phelps, slightly stooped but spry and wearing her running shoes, carried a sign that read "Tennessee Taliban." She is often given the task of driving the pickup trucks that ferry church members, a stack of pillows propping her view over the dashboard.

Next to her stood a cluster of Mr. Phelps's great-grandnephews and great-grandnieces, smiling teenagers with sunglasses, digital cameras and cellphones dangling from their pockets and wrists. They carried their own signs, among them, "You're Going to Hell."

Careful not to trespass on private property, the group stood a distance down the hill from the Woodmont Hills Church of Christ. Police cars parked nearby, keeping watch, but mostly making sure no one attacked the protesters.

"God is punishing this nation with a grievous, smiting blow, killing our children, sending them home dead, to help you connect the dots," said Shirley Roper-Phelps, the spokeswoman for the group and one of Mr. Phelps's daughters. "This is a nation that has forgotten God and leads a filthy manner of life."

At the entrance of the church, Jonathan Anstey, 21, one of Corporal Bass's best friends, frowned as he watched the protesters from a distance. Corporal Bass, who joined the Marine Corps after high school, died with six other service members when his 7-ton truck rolled over in a flash flood in Iraq. His family was reeling from grief, Mr. Anstey said.

"It's hurtful and it's taking a lot of willpower not to go down there and stomp their heads in," Mr. Anstey said. "But I know that David is looking down and seeing me, and he would not want to see that."

Disturbed by the protests, a small group of motorcycle riders, some of them Vietnam War veterans, banded together in October to form the Patriot Guard Riders. They now have 22,000 members. Their aim is to form a human shield in front of the protesters so that mourners cannot see them, and when necessary, rev their engines to drown out the shouts of the Westboro group.

The Bass family, desiring a low-key funeral, asked the motorcycle group not to attend.

"It's kind of like, we didn't do it right in the '70s," said Kurt Mayer, the group's spokesman, referring to the treatment of Vietnam veterans. "This is something that America needs to do, step up and do the right thing."

Hundreds of well-wishers have written e-mail messages to members of the motorcycle group, thanking them for their presence at the funerals. State legislatures, too, are reacting swiftly to the protests, and the Westboro group has mostly steered clear of states that have already enacted laws. While Corporal Bass's family was getting ready to bury him, the Tennessee House was preparing to debate a bill making it illegal for protesters to stand within 500 feet of a funeral, burial or memorial service.

The House joined the Senate in approving it unanimously on Thursday, and the bill now awaits the signature of the governor.

"When you have someone who has given the ultimate sacrifice for their country, with a community and the family grieving, I just don't feel it's the appropriate time to be protesting," said State Representative Curtis Johnson, a Republican who was a co-sponsor of the bill.

Ms. Roper-Phelps said the group was now contemplating how best to challenge the newly passed laws. "This hypocritical nation runs around the world touting our freedoms and is now prepared to dismantle the First Amendment," she said. "A piece of me wants to say that is exactly what you deserve."

Green Lantern all the way baby!

2006-04-17T16:09:00.000-04:00

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern		85%
Hulk		85%
Spider-Man		80%
Superman		55%
Robin		47%
Batman		45%
Supergirl		40%
Wonder Woman		35%
The Flash		35%
Iron Man		30%
Catwoman		10%

Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Pretty Awesome...

2006-04-17T08:25:00.000-04:00

My girlfriend and I were debating which is better: a lightsaber or a life-time membership to Disney World? Listen, you'd get tired after a year of going anywhere. But you would NOT get tired of a lightsaber.

Here are some interesting videos done by Ryan Wieber, who eventually got Lucas' attention and now actually works for LucasFilm. He even has tutorials on how to do lightsaber effects and other effects like cloning yourself on camera.

Guys, how come we haven't done this yet?

Happy Birthday!

2006-04-16T22:49:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday hon!

Joanie Loves Chachie

2006-04-10T22:48:00.000-04:00

Wait...

Did I just see Mickie James dressed as Trish Stratus, and Trish Stratus dressed as Mickie James?

Set boner to stun!!!